it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
