matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
