we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
