No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
