Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
