So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
