laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
All the doctor said was why
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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