Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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