This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
