shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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