You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
false alarm, still single
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
