This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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