How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dicks are not precious.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
