i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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