u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
