That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
