walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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