In the future we'll all be gay
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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