would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
