i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
