yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
