Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
