Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
