Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Did I show you my penis last night?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
