Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
