Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
