You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
