Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
