I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
