fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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