i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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