My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
