I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
