i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
