Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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