Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
