you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
