i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
