That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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