you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you traded sex for a burrito?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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