Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Houston, we have a blender
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
