dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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