The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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