She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
