...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
