Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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