the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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