after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize