Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
