I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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