Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
