She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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