1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
