She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
